[ Rejection is only what Matt should expect. Very few Aions seem to understand the cost of not moving forward--even fellow Kenoma don't always get it. And it's not like his life before was overflowing with understanding and acceptance, so why would he expect any different now?
Even knowing all this, his walls are down. And in the moment, it hurts. ]
Well ... I don't want you to be different than you are.
[ He doesn't want anyone to feel alone in their despair. ]
Do you need company tonight? I doubt I can head into Achamoth without literally losing my head, but I know sometimes people just want to take their mind off the worst.
[ Too bad neutral areas are in short supply, but he can be stealthy in less guarded territory than Achamoth. Sort of. If he really tries. ]
[ Matt's already said too much, too fast, given that Thoma's a person he barely knows. But for just a moment ... he thinks about it. Sneaking out of Achamoth and down the river, finding some out of the way spot to meet Thoma and just--look up at the stars, or something. Not talk about all of this.
(Another thought bubbles up like an undertow: He wouldn't have to sneak out. He could let Amos know where he was going, Paul, maybe Ciel. And when he came back to Achamoth ... Thoma could be with him.)
As soon as that thought registers, Matt reels back from it. ]
No!
--No, I'm okay, I'm fine. [ A gust of laughter, nervy. ] That's sweet. But you don't have to do that.
I really wouldn't mind even if it's just to meet up somewhere on talk –or if you just need a shoulder to lean on for a bit.
[ Okay, he'd mind a little. He knows some of his allies would vehemently object, and also the being executed on sight thing is still rather nerve-wracking to consider. ]
But I guess this is probably the best we can do for tonight without a better plan. I can always try and bore you until you fall asleep?
[ Matt breathes out, calming himself by degrees. As he exhales, he tries to let the intrusive thoughts depart with his breath. ]
It'd be nice to see you again sometime, [ he murmurs. ] Maybe play hooky from being mortal enemies, somewhere. But you don't have to stay on the phone with me now ... I'll be okay.
[ He's still worried about leaving Matt like this and is trying to send some pleasant vibes his way. Hopefully, one of the Kenomas over there can also keep an eye on him. Maybe he'll ask Childe to check in on him... ]
Are you sure? I wouldn't mind seeing you again when things cool down a bit more. I'll even bring some homemade steamed buns with me.
It's quite nice when it's not being attacked. Lots of nice spots to sit in the shade and share food. I know a few hidden hideaways in Venera too if you just want to get drinks and try and blend in.
[ The blending in is more for himself, but he's made enough good friends over there that they probably wouldn't say anything if Thoma popped in. ]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2022-09-02 03:29 am (UTC)Even knowing all this, his walls are down. And in the moment, it hurts. ]
Well ... I don't want you to be different than you are.
[ His voice sounds low and bruised. ]
But I'm lonelier here without you.
no subject
Date: 2022-09-02 04:16 am (UTC)[ He doesn't want anyone to feel alone in their despair. ]
Do you need company tonight? I doubt I can head into Achamoth without literally losing my head, but I know sometimes people just want to take their mind off the worst.
[ Too bad neutral areas are in short supply, but he can be stealthy in less guarded territory than Achamoth. Sort of. If he really tries. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-09-02 04:39 pm (UTC)(Another thought bubbles up like an undertow: He wouldn't have to sneak out. He could let Amos know where he was going, Paul, maybe Ciel. And when he came back to Achamoth ... Thoma could be with him.)
As soon as that thought registers, Matt reels back from it. ]
No!
--No, I'm okay, I'm fine. [ A gust of laughter, nervy. ] That's sweet. But you don't have to do that.
no subject
Date: 2022-09-03 04:47 pm (UTC)[ Okay, he'd mind a little. He knows some of his allies would vehemently object, and also the being executed on sight thing is still rather nerve-wracking to consider. ]
But I guess this is probably the best we can do for tonight without a better plan. I can always try and bore you until you fall asleep?
no subject
Date: 2022-09-04 01:48 am (UTC)It'd be nice to see you again sometime, [ he murmurs. ] Maybe play hooky from being mortal enemies, somewhere. But you don't have to stay on the phone with me now ... I'll be okay.
no subject
Date: 2022-09-05 07:49 pm (UTC)Are you sure? I wouldn't mind seeing you again when things cool down a bit more. I'll even bring some homemade steamed buns with me.
no subject
Date: 2022-09-05 08:47 pm (UTC)It'd be more than enough just to bring yourself.
But yeah ... when things cool down, that'd be nice. I don't know where's good for you, but I've never been to Godsblood.
no subject
Date: 2022-09-06 02:10 am (UTC)[ The blending in is more for himself, but he's made enough good friends over there that they probably wouldn't say anything if Thoma popped in. ]